you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Green mimosas i think yes
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
