i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
