yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm lost and stupid without you.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
