This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize