u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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