Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm getting married
To pizza
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
