closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
