I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
