Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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