I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
