But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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