I am spending my child support on dildos
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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