Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
