16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
