you win again, gameday.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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