This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
