How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
