i can't believe i had my finger in that
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
