Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
