dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
