I want to stick my p in your. b.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
it's like heaven, but drunker
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
