New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
