no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
