We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
where am i from again
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
