You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i think my mom watched the whole time
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
