So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
