were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
