When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We need to get me chipped asap
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
