I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
