Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize