Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
