TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Do vagina's smell?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize