What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
