Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
