Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
