I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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