SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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