they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
