I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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