May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
