2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
