This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have tasted many bathrooms
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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