hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
