Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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