also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize