he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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