so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize