Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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