Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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