If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
