I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
