8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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