I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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