No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
