Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
