You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
