OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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