sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Less talking, more tequila
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
