my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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