Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
