Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm too high and old for this...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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