i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
