so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
